Here we are again. At this time of year when the only topic of conversation among friends and colleagues is where everyone goes on vacation – what’s on the table, who will be there, there will be a turkey; and if so, who will cook it. Small talk usually makes me claustrophobic and grumpy, but I love those special conversations. They offer a glimpse into the lives of the people I believe I know, beyond the backdrop of our friendship. I learn more about the families my friends grew up in, those who adopted them or chose them who hate them.

At a recent dinner during the holiday season, a friend said something I remembered: Her non-American born father with few sentimental associations or timely family commitments always plans an international trip over Thanksgiving and spends a weekend or weekend getaway to explore a new city.

Since then, I can’t stop thinking about that roving approach to the holidays. My own family can’t get together this year, and although friends have invited me to some Thanksgiving dinners, the idea of ​​spending an evening at a table with people I know and love to varying degrees, as well as a few strangers, feels still a little off. And I guess I am not alone. As life slowly approaches normal, the holidays are sure to look more and more like they used to – a stark contrast to last year when solo or very small holiday gatherings were a public safety issue and not a choice. But just because we don’t have to spend the holidays alone doesn’t mean we have to get back into the hustle and bustle of Macy’s Parade. Things are still mixed up and many of us (me for example) still feel fragile. So this could be the perfect year to politely decline the invitations, check out the family reunions, and do something for ourselves. Why not take a trip?

I am fascinated by the vision of myself, a single traveler strolling through the streets of a tranquil city or an otherwise crowded city on Thanksgiving, all alone, except for a passing family who drives home to eat, or a few other travelers with the same idea. This is the kind of loneliness I always dream of when New York feels like it is getting closer or my brain is cluttered to get its job done.

Staying in place with nowhere else to go is a terribly lonely feeling. However, it can be amazing to go anywhere alone. On previous solo trips, I’ve met some of my closest friends, had some of my best meals, had some particularly weird and memorable dates, and felt surrounded by people. I just never thought about going on one of these trips on vacation. But it makes perfect sense – my friend’s dad books most of his air travel for Thanksgiving when prices go down and ends up in another country when most people sit down for dinner.

Even if you enjoy spending time with your friends and family, the stress of organizing a Christmas dinner is undeniable. Sure, you still have to plan something for a successful trip, but guest lists and graded cooking times (so that the filling is warmed through when the turkey is ready!) Can be set aside this year. Instead, take an international trip and put that energy into searching perfect ice cream, Plates with excellent tacos, or huge Pans with paella You have to share with a new friend. Even on a domestic trip, there are so many if you choose Thanksgiving Restaurants with inventive takes for a classic celebratory meal that, with a little planning, you can enjoy a completely different version of Thanksgiving this year: tandoori turkey, garlic yucca puree or pumpkin tres leches cake perhaps? Or if you’re craving a traditional spread, why not try a plated version just for you without the family politics. Traveling on vacation isn’t just a way to get away from the vacation. It can also be an opportunity to experience them in a whole new way.

While I don’t have the time, resources, or space to think about planning an international trip, I flirt with the thought of thanking my friends for inviting me and getting out of town. I think of the type of trip that I can plan in one day, allow for a weekend and arrive by train, bus or rental car. I started looking for accommodation the Hudson Valley – one of my favorite places, just two hours north of the city, and one whose considerable queer community always gives me a sense of belonging.

I really hope that this pandemic will be even more complete in the rearview mirror in the next year or two and I will remember sitting at a really huge table again with my parents and cousins ​​and aunts and uncles and old family friends whose names I am called not. But until then, the holidays have more to offer than a choice between a big dinner or being alone. I can’t wait to take the train down the river to my favorite city alone, walk down the main street alone, drink an early cocktail alone in a favorite dive bar, and unpack and eat my mini-feast, alone – and far away my home in Brooklyn.