Vaccination cards are the latest culture war to be jammed into a remake of “We Didn’t Light The Fire”. My money is on Beaver.
The Coronavirus The pandemic has opened a source of existential trouble, but the passport issue is a pretty weird conga line for the cruise industry. To recap:
U.S. cruises ran aground due to COVID-19. Companies work with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention get started by summer.
How can cruises be carried out safely? The CDC hasn’t yet needed vaccines for cruises, however Norwegian cruise line and Silversea Cruises said they will. Others still decide. In Florida, Governor Ron DeSantis is suing the federal government to reopen the cruise and he has also banned vaccination cards. Everyone is lost in a hedge maze, rubbing sage.
I see a good argument in favor of vaccination cards on cruises, and here’s why. A ship is not a place to find freedom. There are the obvious legal requirements, such as an actual passport.
And cruises are floating containers with RULES. Have you ever been shoulder to shoulder waiting for a 90 minute shore excursion to the Bahamas while someone tries to sell you Trollbeads bracelets? It’s not freedom.
Here are some articles that are prohibited from royal caribbean: Fire arms; Ammunition; CBD products; Candles; Incense; Coffee machines; Iron; Steam boat; Hot plates; Hoverboards; Martial arts equipment; Handcuffs; Pepper spray; Night sticks; Lighter fluid; Fireworks; Extension cable; bleaching; Colour; Amateur radios; Baby monitors; and hookahs.
Ashes carry on a carnival Cruise, you will need a death certificate and proof that the cremation was licensed and was not performed by a background cousin. The ashes must be stored in a leak-proof, sealed container made of wood, plastic, cardboard or ceramic without lead. Dead easy.
What about the pool deck, that American bastion of freedom? Guess again! When carnival employees see a free space with, for example, a Harlequin novel on it, they will notice. If 40 minutes go by and you haven’t come back for making a beer bong, they move your things. Is that communist? I check.
Speaking of beer, a word on alcohol. They know about the alcohol business. Do not act innocently. Some cruise lines allow you to bring a few bottles with you. Others don’t. All will add to a 64-page menu of expensive drink options on board.
I took a cruise once that didn’t allow outside alcohol. We considered putting wine in bottles of shampoo, then remembered we weren’t 16. Instead, we bought an approved bottle that was economical in size Skyy Vodka from a folding table on the boat ramp. We don’t even really drink vodka, but we carried it around like a baby and poured Skyy spritzes into infinity coke from the well.
Is that freedom? I dont know! I am honestly confused!
The “nice” restaurants often cost extra and condemn some to stand outside and clutch their firstborn bottle of Skyy. Then there is great devil energy from dress code, formal versus casual, tuxedo versus bikini, the definition of “khaki” and so on.
When it’s line dance time, do people volunteer? No! You will be pressed into the electrical foil by a HYPER AUNT wearing a matching family T-shirt.
If you get sick on a ship, it is up to the crew to launch you or place you in quarantine. Watch what’s at stake The last cruise on HBO. There is documentation about the Diamond princess, plagued by 712 infections and 14 deaths at the start of the pandemic. It was particularly tragic for the ship’s personnel to literally live underwater without enjoying the benefits above deck.
Cruising is inherently a risky business and I’ll do anything anyone tells me on a ship. That’s because I’m not qualified to keep myself alive. It’s in everyone’s best interests if we don’t host fireworks or COVID-19.
Excuse me now. I have to measure my scissors. If they are less than 4 inches long I can pack them.
– Stephanie Hayes is a columnist for the Tampa Bay Times in Florida. Follow her on Twitter: @ StephenHayes and Instagram: @ StephenHayes. Click here for previous columns. The opinions expressed are their own.
